Monday, November 8, 2010

Pumpkin Walk 2010

Every year in North Logan, the community comes together and creates scenes with pumpkins, squash, gourds, and other harvesty things.  Each year has a theme that the scenes have to fit and every year we try to make it up there to see it.  This year the theme was cartoons.  That's all I'm going to say (except the captions)!  Enjoy the pictures!

A Bugs Life

Toy Story

Slinky Dog

Veggie Tales (David and Goliath)
Corpse Bride


Partly Cloudy with a chance of meatballs

The Hungry Caterpillar

The Magic School Bus
( I love that Arnold is laying down in front of everyone)

The Flintstones

Self explained

The Little Mermaid

Smurfs

The Polar Express

The tree from the Polar Express scene.  Probably my favorite thing there!

101 Dalmations

The Muppet Show

Gonzo

Sponge Bob (Colin's favorite thing there!)

Monsters Inc.

Monsters Inc.

The next few are for Andrew... Madagascar!




These next ones celebrate Dr. Seuss

Star-bellied and Plain-bellied Sneeches

Horton hatches the egg 

Pale Green Pants

Green Eggs and Ham

Don't those eggs look tasty, Sam I am?

More pale green pants

The Cat in the Hat

And the pale green pants are back

Alice in Wonderland (notice the Cheshire Cat in the top left)

Rapunzel (or is it Tangled?)

The Princess and the Frog


These next ones are from Looney Tunes...











Up

Popeye the Sailor Man
When you're done walking around you get to have your picture taken as almost anybody.  Here are some of my favorites...

Malerie as Ariel

Malerie or Harry Potter?

Colin or Harry Potter?

Kaitlynn or Harry Potter

Is it just me or are there a lot of Harry Potters around here?

Hailey as Ariel

Hailey as Max

Malerie is Jesse, Kaitlynn is Buzz, and Hailey is Woody

Master Yoda... I mean Malerie

No offense to Malerie but this Yoda is a little bit cuter... Hailey

Kaitlynn takes her turn as Yoda

Malerie as the Genie and Hailey as Malerie

Sunday, November 7, 2010

I'm Thankful for...

Today I am thankful for the Thumb Society.  Let me explain.  In our ward, the Young Women belong to a secret society... okay it's not secret, because everyone knows about it; but two years ago, Sister Dalton, the Young Woman General President gave the girls a challenge to smile, read the Book of Mormon five minutes a day, and say morning and night prayers.  In our ward, we pass around a necklace and each time you get the necklace you strive to be 100% on these challenges.  Last week I was the recipient of the thumb, and it is such a blessing to have a tangible reminder to help you do the right thing.  Each Sunday before we choose a new person to take the thumb, we give the girls a thumbs up and they do it back.  It's a fun way to remind them without really saying anything.  Also, there is a journal that is passed with the necklace where we record our experiences.  It's really great to read back and see how the thumb is changing all of our lives.  Do you want to be part of the secret thumb society?  All you have to do is commit to smiling, reading the scriptures, and praying daily!  Let's all take Sister Dalton's challenge and see if it doesn't change your life!!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

I'm Thankful for...

Today I am thankful for slippers.  I had a rough day at work.  We were crazy busy and my feet are killing me, so I came home, got in the shower and then cuddled up in my pj's and slippers.  I can't even begin to explain how awesome slippers feel on sore tired feet.  Next best thing to pedicures I'm telling you!!!

Friday, November 5, 2010

I'm Thankful for...

Today I am thankful for yummy food.  I had a really loooong day at work and afterward had made plans with a friend to hit Zupas.  It is my FAVORITE restaurant.  Soup, salad ,and panini sandwiches.  They have this combo meal option, where you pick any two and it's one price, but today I couldn't decide between salad and panini, so I got all three.  That my friends is a lot of food... and I ate every bite, including 3 pieces of baguette and 2 chocolate dipped strawberries.  Good thing it's kind of good for you!!  Yay for yummy non Arctic Circle food!!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

I'm Thankful for...

Today I am thankful for sleeping in!  I don't get a ton of opportunities to sleep in being that I have to be at work most mornings by 8 and my church on Sunday is at 9, but on Thursdays I don't go to work till 10.  I usually stay up really late on Wednesday night, so I don't get anymore sleep than normal nights, but last night I went to bed at 10:45 and didn't get out of bed this morning until 9:30!  It was pure bliss!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I'm Thankful for...

Today I am thankful for toilet paper.  Nicole commented that my "thankfuls" were very practical and it's true.  I'm trying to appreciate the small things!  Today I had to unclog a toilet at work and as I was cursing the person that put half a roll of toilet paper in our somewhat ridiculous toilet (anything clogs it!)  I was thinking how grateful I am for this small roll of awesomeness.  I mean at the moment it was somewhat the bane of my existence, but overall, I'm really glad to have it.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I'm Thankful for...

My sister in law decided to blog something that she is thankful for every day in November and since I think that's a pretty swell idea, I'm going to copy her.  Also since I am a day behind, I will do two today.

 I'm thankful for my health.  It is such a great thing to get up in the morning feeling good and rested and ready to start a new day, so I'm thankful that I can get up and out of bed and feel good.

I'm thankful for hot water.  I got into the shower today and the water came out crazy hot, and as I turned it toward cool I thought about how lucky I am that my water is hot.  I'm glad that I have the ability to have heated water and don't have to shower in the cold.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Ew Sick!

I am 32 years old and for all the time I can remember have escaped having the flu. I rarely get stomachaches, in fact don't really know how to handle them. I had big plans for the weekend that involved a lot of family fun in Logan and getting the flu was not in the plan. Nevertheless, I woke up Saturday morning with a strange feeling in my gut. I thought I was hungry so I made some oatmeal and left for work. I ate my oatmeal and opened the store, then was feeling ultra tired (attributed that to going to bed at 1 in the morning) and had some serious heartburn. I had to go to another store to pick up some product, so I ran by home and grabbed some Tums. I took four Tums and continued working. When it was time to go on break I didn't really feel good, but knew that I should try eating something. I got a hamburger and a small fry. As the day went on the heartburn faded but my stomach got more and more sore. At 2:30 I called my boss for permission to leave early. He agreed and I went home. I took a bath and laid down for awhile, and then my friend Tierny came over so we could drive to Logan for the Pumpkin Walk. I got dressed and ready to go and really felt like I was going to toss my cookies. I knelt down by the toilet and nothing happened. I decided to just get in the car and go. I made it all the way past Ogden about 10 miles outside of Brigham City and then knew I was going to lose it. I started to pull off the freeway at an exit and tried really hard to race down the ramp so I could at least get out before I threw up. No such luck. Halfway down the ramp I lost control of my stomach. Have you ever tried driving while puking??? NOT RECOMMENDED!!!!!! Now my car smells like some nasty combination of throw up and Febreeze. Needless to say, after a clothes change at the Brigham City Wal-mart and a shower at my brother's house in Logan, the Pumpkin Walk was not as fun as other years. I'll post pictures from that tomorrowish. Sunday I laid in bed all day and today I've been really careful about what I put in my mouth. Hope I'm better tomorrow, because someone needs to detail the car!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Discovering the Key to Happiness

This week has been kind of hard. Not to be all preachy, but I think one of the big reasons for it, was that I wasn't doing the whole scripture study thing as well as I should have been. I recommitted Monday and the last two days have been a little better. Work has been a pain, because it seems like a lot of the people I work with are sad, depressed, emotionally unstable, etc. and the sad part is most of it is because of "my stupid ex-boyfriend". I'm so sick of it and realized that if you spend enough time with downers you start to feel a little down yourself. Yesterday I was reading in 2nd Nephi 9 where verse 3 says, "Behold, my beloved brethren, I speak unto you these things that ye may rejoice, and lift up your heads forever, because of the blessings which the Lord God shall bestow upon your children." This chapter is Jacob, teaching the people about the plan of salvation, or the plan of happiness. Later in verse 52 he says, "Behold, my beloved brethren, remember the words of your God; pray unto him continually by day, and give thanks unto his holy name by night. Let your hearts rejoice." Now if my understanding of the scripture is correct, Jacob was ordained to be a teacher over the people. That means that basically he is God's servant and "whether by my own voice, or the voice of my servants, it is the same." Letting our hearts rejoice therefore is a commandment. I've learned this week (again) that if we want to be happy, we have to do what it takes to get the blessings from our loving Heavenly Father who wants us to live the plan that leads to happiness. I wish I worked with more members of the church so I could make them understand. In the meantime, I'm choosing to follow the plan and find my happiness, and when I can't find it, I will pray continually until I am at peace.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

32 candles

It was one year ago today that I made a birthday resolution to be less selfish. It's funny, but I'm not sure how I'm doing. Today at work I was like, "It's my birthday... it's all about me!" That's a very selfless attitude right??? Well in all fairness to my selfless goal, I did spend the night of my birthday with the youth in my ward, doing a service scavenger hunt. We did a lot of really great things for the people in our ward, and I was happy that I chose Young Women's over any other way to spend my birthday. After I was done, my roommate and her boyfriend took me out for ice cream, so all in all not a bad way to spend the day! Here's to another year of striving to be better than I was last year!! Happy Birthday to ME!!

Friday, October 1, 2010

October in Utah feeling more like Arizona

It is barely October 1st. I just got done with month end at work and I was thinking as I walked out of work, that it is unseasonably warm. It was 90 degrees earlier today... maybe I should bust out the fall wreath to remind the weather that there should be a chill in the air. I'm so ready for sweatshirts and long pants. Come on Fall!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Payoff

I've been trying (some days less than others) to lose weight for 10 months. Today I decided it was time to replace some pieces of my wardrobe, even though I had decided not to buy anything new until I was where I wanted to be, but my work pants are trashed! I went to Shopko and grabbed pants a size smaller than the last ones I bought and headed for the fitting room. I put on the first pair of pants and they fit okay, but alas no pockets. I need pockets. I tried on the next pair and they were saggy. The next pair also too big. I went back out and grabbed both styles in the next smaller size and went back to the dressing room. Both fit rather well, with room to spare, which is what I want a little of in work pants because I have to tuck my shirt in and don't want to feel like I have to suck it in for ten hours at work. I was really happy! I haven't fit in that size in 6 years! If that's not a motivator to keep eating right, I don't know what is! Maybe by Christmas I can drop one more size! Here's to healthy eating!!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Early Monday Morning

Today was one of those days that you get into and then realize perhaps staying in bed would have been a better choice. Last night I was following the news about the Herriman fire, and so didn't get to bed entirely early. It wasn't really late, but I woke up at 7:30 a little groggy. I read the latest news that ksl.com had about the fire, and then got ready for work. I pulled into the parking lot just as the governor was saying a few words so I sat in the car for a few minutes and then decided it was time to get to it. My opening cook wasn't there yet, which is really strange for him, he usually beats me by 5 or more minutes and I ended up having to call and wake him up. I walked in and glanced at one of my cash registers and it had squiggly lines on it, and was blinking like a strobe light. This is not the first time I'd seen it do that, but I had the guy out on Friday to fix it and was charged $200 for it. I went immediately to the phone and called him back. He told me he'd be there around 10:30. Next I went to my office computer. It has been having some problems, but as long as it doesn't get turned off, it's been okay. Over Sunday, it must have gotten some new updates and restarted itself to install them, and wouldn't go back on. I called my boss to let him know, then called the IT guy to come. He told me he'd build me a new tower, and bring it by tomorrow. That's all well and good... for tomorrow. What about today?? I tried throughout the day to get it to start, but no go. Without the computer, one must do all the paperwork by hand. Now luckily, I've worked for Arctic Circle long enough, so I remember how to do things the precomputer way; however my assistant manager and supervisor have no clue, so not only do I get to do day books by hand, but also night books. That means going back in at 10 and spending an hour doing it the hard way. Needless to say, I'm really not appreciating the wonderful technological advances of the 21st century. If only they would work!! It's amazing what I take for granted at my job. Hopefully tomorrow will bring less excitement!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Early Sunday Morning

So I don't know much about the inner alarm clock or whatever, but everyday I have to be to work by eight, and I'm usually stumbling out of bed at 7:40, racing to the bathroom, putting in contacts and praying while I pee (yeah seriously), pulling my hair into a ponytail, dressing quickly (usually forgetting something important like deodorant), and running out the door with 20 seconds to spare. Yup, I can be ready for work in 7 minutes...and I look like, well never mind. The last two Sundays? Awake at 6 or shortly thereafter. And not like, oh it's 6 something, roll over and go back to sleep. No, like oh it's 6. I'm done sleeping. And so I get up and curl my hair and apply makeup and think about how much better I'd look for work if I got up and put my face on. So here we are, 8:04 am and I've been reading blogs for the past 45 minutes and all I have to do is put a dress on. Now please explain to me why I can't be done sleeping at 6 on Monday morning and have a nice leisurely morning before I have to go open my store? It's the mystery of the week. I've tried all the tricks. I put my alarm clock across the room so I have to get up to turn it off, no go... I push snooze and take it back to bed. I've tried going to bed earlier, later, whatever. For some reason, I can only wake up at a decent time on Sunday morning. Maybe it's because subconsciously I know it's my only day off, so I want to be awake for it. But then again, last Sunday I woke up at 6:18 and by 5:30 I was napping on the couch and then wasn't tired at bedtime. It's a pretty conundrum. Maybe someday I'll figure it out. In the meantime, morning is quite a nice time of day. Maybe I'll try to see it tomorrow before the mad dash to work!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Christmas Music in September?

I just opened my email to an email from a local radio station proclaiming 100 days until Christmas. They were having a Christmas kick off- playing Christmas music from 8 to 5 today and giving away a great Christmas prize. I was really afraid this was the kick off and they'd be playing 100 days of Christmas music, but luckily for me, not so much. Now let's get something straight. I love Christmas music. A few years ago, I was that girl that started playing Christmas music the day after Halloween. Sometimes I listen to The Forgotten Carols in July. Then the radio stations started the radio wars, you know- be the first station to play nothing but Christmas music, and it starts a little earlier each year. I like Christmas music. Play it in November--maybe mix it in every fifth song or so. I just don't like turning on the radio in November and hearing the same songs over and over for eight weeks until I've completely lost the spirit of the holiday and threaten to throw the radio if they play Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer one more time! So for what it's worth, here's my two cents... Please hold the Christmas music for a few more weeks! There are a lot of other holidays between now and then!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Connection is the Key to Courage

Today I dragged my tired worn out work body home quickly, jumped in the shower for some rejuvenation, and headed out in my Sunday best for a Stake Youth fireside. It was a veg on the couch kind of day, but I'm so glad I didn't give in to that feeling. The speaker was Doug Nelson (not sure if the spelling is right), but he's a public speaker/psycotherapist and was amazing! I told one of the counselors in the Young Women's presidency that I love youth speakers, they are way more entertaining than adult speakers! He took our Courage in Action theme from Youth Conference a few months ago and expounded on it. He talked about how we all need a little fear in order for us to exercise Courage. He then said the key to courage is connection. We all need to be connected with our Heavenly Father so that He can help us to "Be Strong and of a Good Courage." He related several scripture stories. He talked about how in the Garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve had partaken of the fruit, God came looking for them. He asked us to think about how often in our lives is God looking for us, and we're not paying attention, or we're hiding from him. He talked about the Prodigal Son and how the Father saw him coming from afar off. The Father had to be watching and waiting for the return. Our Father watches us and looks for us and if we live connected to Him we can have courage in the hard times. He also talked about how important it is to remember whose we are. If we truly know that we are children of God we will have the courage to face what the adversary throws at us. He talked about how fear is holding us back from accomplishing the mission we came here to do. We all have a mission in life, and if we don't fulfill our mission, we are selfish. We need to overcome fear with courage and defeat Satan in all of his power. It was such an amazing fireside. I really hope the youth got as much out of it as I did. It really is rejuvenating to have a spiritual experience after a hectic day, and for that I am grateful.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

September???

Is it just me or did September come really fast this year? I swear time goes twice as fast every year I get older. I was thinking last night about my goals at the beginning of the year, to eat better and get in shape and I can't believe that it was nine whole months ago that I decided to do that and that it's been five months since I did it well. Good thing there is forgiveness, because I've decided to forgive myself and start again. I still can't believe that it's the beginning of fall and cooler temperatures and almost time to get out the harvest decorations. It's sad when I look back and feel like I've lost chunks of my life because time passes too fleetingly. It's good though, when I look back over my blog, and feel that I've done a pretty good job of documenting at least the highlights, and it's not completely hopeless. Well here's to another September. Maybe we can hold December off for a few years huh??

Monday, August 30, 2010

Cheese :D

Sunday was a bittersweet kind of day. Todd and Nicole are moving to Arizona tomorrow, so we all met together for a final family dinner, minus Spencer and Katie. Mom asked Todd what he wanted for dinner, and he said he wanted a repeat of his graduation party, which was a Mexican fiesta. Mom made enchiladas, chile relleno casserole, cream cheese chicken taquitos, carne asada tacos, ground beef tacos, and queso dip made with velveeta and rotel tomatoes. We all were pretty excited because the last time we did it, it was awesome. We all served up buffet style and sat down to chow down. Rory started with a taquito and was really going at it. When she was done, Todd asked her if she wanted some chips and she heartily agreed. Looking over she noticed Grandma dipping her chips so Rory started chanting dip dip dip. Todd got her a small bowl of the queso dip and she started dipping her chips.
Pretty soon she couldn't keep up with the chips so she gave up on chips and dug in. I was a little surprised because it's slightly spicy, but Rory didn't seem to notice. A few hours later when I went to get her sippy cup, it was covered in cheese. I would say that queso dip is a big hit with this toddler!! Can you say cheese??

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Eat Pray Love

Tonight for the last girl's night with Nicole, we decided to go to Jordan Commons to see a movie. I think I've decided I'm giving up PG13 movies, so we decided to see Eat Pray Love, and I decided it will be the last PG13 movie that I see. I'm glad I slipped this one in. It was so profound and thought provoking. It's a true story about a woman who decides that her life is not what she wants it to be and so she goes on this year long journey to find herself and figure out what she really wants. I highly recommend it to anyone who has ever felt that their life is somewhat different than they had always planned or anyone who loves a good movie!! When we got out of the movie we were talking about it's effect on each of us and I said that I didn't really see myself in her character. On the drive home, I changed my mind. I don't think I need a year long journey to places far distant to find myself like she did, but I do feel like I need to gain some control in my life like she did. I came home to my messy kitchen, messy bathroom, and laundry all over the hallway wondering when I was going to find time to clean. I spent Sunday at my parents house, Monday night I went to a play, tonight a movie, tomorrow Young Women's, Thursday I work late. It's a miracle my house even gets dirty since I feel like I'm hardly here anyway, but nevertheless... it is! I think that my journey is going to begin by not letting people and things dictate what I do or who I am. It's time for me to take control of my destiny and my dirty house. It's time for me to find that balance that the movie talks so much about. Her balance is about learning to love someone while still loving herself and my balance is to find myself in my schedule! I need to work. I need to be able to live and eat and sleep somewhere, but my job isn't who I am. It doesn't need to be my whole life. I need to find myself in spite of the circumstances that have become my life. I used to be so excited about my new eating plan... now I don't even remember to eat. I need to do things that scare me and get past my fears. I need to find myself and get back on track with the things that used to be important to me. Time to Eat right, Pray more, and learn to Love myself so I can be open to loving someone else. Here's to change... wish me luck!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Rachel Gayle Porter

SO much has happened in the last week, I have a million things I could and should blog, but since it's 11:00 at night and I have had a very sleep deprived weekend, I will do a short post about my newest niece. She was born Saturday at 12:47 pm to my oldest sister and her husband. She weighed in at 7 lb. 6 oz. and was 20 inches long. My sis got out of the hospital today and met at a family party with a 28 hour old baby. She has this perfectly round head and long fingers and perfectly adorable toes, and compared to the other nieces and nephews present weighs nothing!! Welcome to the family Rachel!!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Meeting my Pen Pal

So a little more than a year and half ago, I wrote a post about pen pals. I had found an old friend on facebook and linked to his family's blog and then through blogging have gotten to know his wife and children like they were family. Today they blessed their third baby and were thoughtful enough to send me an invite. A few weeks ago I sent her an outfit for the baby and she emailed me and mentioned that it would be fun to meet in person at some point. At first, I was a little apprehensive, because I've always thought I'm a different person online; a likable one. I was afraid that the relationship would lose it's magic...for her. I knew I'd love her, I just hoped she'd love me as well. Well today I put aside my apprehension, and with the help of Mapquest found their church and went to the blessing. As I walked into the foyer, the husband was there and I greeted him. After a moment, recognition set in and the greeting back was warm and friendly. We figured out later that we hadn't seen each other since high school graduation over 14years ago. We walked into the chapel and he got his wife's attention. She immediately recognized me and we met. She made me feel so welcome, and introduced me to all the family present. After the blessing, she let me hold the baby for the rest of Sacrament Meeting. When it was over, they extended the invitation to meet at his parent's house and I readily accepted. I spent the afternoon getting to know the kids a little more. In fact, Miss E, the two year old, and I had a fantastic conversation and it was so much fun to get to know the little girl that I had watched grow up through pictures. I helped take pictures for them and when I left I felt as if I had known them for years. I guess if you think about it, I kind of have... you don't need to see each other in person to know someone. All you need is an honest medium and through blogging we have found that. So thanks to my pen pal and her adorable family for making our meeting possible and for inviting me into your family. We decided we definitely will get together again!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

The Boring Life

I know I changed my blog title and so therefore I shouldn't have posts like this, but here we are. I feel a need to post, but don't have much excitement going on right now. Yesterday I spent a half day at work, then went to Andrew's birthday party and then to a wedding of a girl that my mom used to tend. Let me tell you how old I feel when I see the video of this 22 year old girl's wedding and when it flashes back to the 2 year old, I think "hey that's the Jessica I remember." Besides the few moments of excitement yesterday, this week has been fairly uneventful. I worked some and slept a lot and was so tired today I laid down for a half hour (I even set the alarm) and woke up 3 1/2 hours later. I felt bad for about 30 seconds and then told myself it was okay and I needed to feel like the sleep was what I needed so don't feel bad about "wasting" a Sunday afternoon. Then I read a book and then went to work to count inventory and somewhere in the middle of it I realized I hadn't eaten today... at all. Not even a morsel. I'm not even that hungry. Weird! Well, I guess that's enough random rambling for one Sunday. Maybe this next week will bring some excitement!!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

It is better for us to pass through sorrow

I just realized that sounds like a really depressing blog title! This post is not really about sorrow. It's more about awesome temple insights. Last night I decided to go to the temple. It was kind of a silly reason. I had opened my fast early so I could finish it right after church today and didn't want to be home all night surrounded by yummy food, so I figured I'd take advantage of the temple to get me away from the temptation of eating. I ended up at Salt Lake because Bountiful was closed for one more day, and as I walked downstairs, Tom was sitting at the information desk. I smiled and said hello, and walked on to the dressing room. It's the first time I've seen him since the email and it was fine... weird how things work out for themselves. Anyway, I have been reading the book Six Events by Stephen Covey and the sixth event is the restoration of temple blessings. He encourages us to go to the temple completely prepared for the experience and then outlines how that can be done. I copied it out of the book, printed it really small and took it with me so I could reflect on it. The best part of it says, "During the entire time you are in the temple, have the expectation that God will reveal to you the answers to your prayers. You don't know when, but you know that he will-- you just feel it." I went this time, thinking about the purpose of my fast. I listened to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in the car on the way and felt really good about my choice to be there. As we got into the session, I was really impressed by the sister playing the part of Eve. She was really happy and her countenance glowed as if she understood the full impact of the part she was playing. It was probably the first time I ever saw someone absorb the part. As the session progressed, there is a part where Eve tells Adam that "it is better to pass through sorrow, that we may know good from evil." As this sister said that line, she kind of choked up and I felt very strongly that she (Eve) knew exactly what she was giving up. She understood that it would not be an easy thing, and that her decision would force them to give up their blissful life in the presence of God, but she was willing to experience sorrow for the greater good. I also thought about that line. The point is that we pass through sorrow. We don't stay there. Today in Young Women's, the lesson was about agency and choices, and we were talking about how making good choices can lead us to happiness, but ultimately even happiness is a choice. I realized sitting in that sacred place, that I am happy. I may not have everything I want, and I may not be living the life I saw myself living 15 years ago, but as I pass through sorrow, I find happiness, and that makes the sorrow worth it. Not easy, not even really fully understood, but worth it. And for moments like that in the temple, I'm happy for the experiences I've had that have led me to that realization. Side note... I was sitting in the Celestial Room, thinking about the whole thing with Tom and as he walked out of the veil area, I realized there were no feelings. No more wondering what could have happened and no desire to go back. I felt peaceful and I am grateful.