Cheese :D

Sunday was a bittersweet kind of day. Todd and Nicole are moving to Arizona tomorrow, so we all met together for a final family dinner, minus Spencer and Katie. Mom asked Todd what he wanted for dinner, and he said he wanted a repeat of his graduation party, which was a Mexican fiesta. Mom made enchiladas, chile relleno casserole, cream cheese chicken taquitos, carne asada tacos, ground beef tacos, and queso dip made with velveeta and rotel tomatoes. We all were pretty excited because the last time we did it, it was awesome. We all served up buffet style and sat down to chow down. Rory started with a taquito and was really going at it. When she was done, Todd asked her if she wanted some chips and she heartily agreed. Looking over she noticed Grandma dipping her chips so Rory started chanting dip dip dip. Todd got her a small bowl of the queso dip and she started dipping her chips.

Pretty soon she couldn't keep up with the chips so she gave up on chips and dug in. I was a little surprised because it's slightly spicy, but Rory didn't seem to notice. A few hours later when I went to get her sippy cup, it was covered in cheese. I would say that queso dip is a big hit with this toddler!! Can you say cheese??

Eat Pray Love

Tonight for the last girl's night with Nicole, we decided to go to Jordan Commons to see a movie. I think I've decided I'm giving up PG13 movies, so we decided to see Eat Pray Love, and I decided it will be the last PG13 movie that I see. I'm glad I slipped this one in. It was so profound and thought provoking. It's a true story about a woman who decides that her life is not what she wants it to be and so she goes on this year long journey to find herself and figure out what she really wants. I highly recommend it to anyone who has ever felt that their life is somewhat different than they had always planned or anyone who loves a good movie!! When we got out of the movie we were talking about it's effect on each of us and I said that I didn't really see myself in her character. On the drive home, I changed my mind. I don't think I need a year long journey to places far distant to find myself like she did, but I do feel like I need to gain some control in my life like she did. I came home to my messy kitchen, messy bathroom, and laundry all over the hallway wondering when I was going to find time to clean. I spent Sunday at my parents house, Monday night I went to a play, tonight a movie, tomorrow Young Women's, Thursday I work late. It's a miracle my house even gets dirty since I feel like I'm hardly here anyway, but nevertheless... it is! I think that my journey is going to begin by not letting people and things dictate what I do or who I am. It's time for me to take control of my destiny and my dirty house. It's time for me to find that balance that the movie talks so much about. Her balance is about learning to love someone while still loving herself and my balance is to find myself in my schedule! I need to work. I need to be able to live and eat and sleep somewhere, but my job isn't who I am. It doesn't need to be my whole life. I need to find myself in spite of the circumstances that have become my life. I used to be so excited about my new eating plan... now I don't even remember to eat. I need to do things that scare me and get past my fears. I need to find myself and get back on track with the things that used to be important to me. Time to Eat right, Pray more, and learn to Love myself so I can be open to loving someone else. Here's to change... wish me luck!

Rachel Gayle Porter

SO much has happened in the last week, I have a million things I could and should blog, but since it's 11:00 at night and I have had a very sleep deprived weekend, I will do a short post about my newest niece. She was born Saturday at 12:47 pm to my oldest sister and her husband. She weighed in at 7 lb. 6 oz. and was 20 inches long. My sis got out of the hospital today and met at a family party with a 28 hour old baby. She has this perfectly round head and long fingers and perfectly adorable toes, and compared to the other nieces and nephews present weighs nothing!! Welcome to the family Rachel!!

Meeting my Pen Pal

So a little more than a year and half ago, I wrote a post about pen pals. I had found an old friend on facebook and linked to his family's blog and then through blogging have gotten to know his wife and children like they were family. Today they blessed their third baby and were thoughtful enough to send me an invite. A few weeks ago I sent her an outfit for the baby and she emailed me and mentioned that it would be fun to meet in person at some point. At first, I was a little apprehensive, because I've always thought I'm a different person online; a likable one. I was afraid that the relationship would lose it's magic...for her. I knew I'd love her, I just hoped she'd love me as well. Well today I put aside my apprehension, and with the help of Mapquest found their church and went to the blessing. As I walked into the foyer, the husband was there and I greeted him. After a moment, recognition set in and the greeting back was warm and friendly. We figured out later that we hadn't seen each other since high school graduation over 14years ago. We walked into the chapel and he got his wife's attention. She immediately recognized me and we met. She made me feel so welcome, and introduced me to all the family present. After the blessing, she let me hold the baby for the rest of Sacrament Meeting. When it was over, they extended the invitation to meet at his parent's house and I readily accepted. I spent the afternoon getting to know the kids a little more. In fact, Miss E, the two year old, and I had a fantastic conversation and it was so much fun to get to know the little girl that I had watched grow up through pictures. I helped take pictures for them and when I left I felt as if I had known them for years. I guess if you think about it, I kind of have... you don't need to see each other in person to know someone. All you need is an honest medium and through blogging we have found that. So thanks to my pen pal and her adorable family for making our meeting possible and for inviting me into your family. We decided we definitely will get together again!

The Boring Life

I know I changed my blog title and so therefore I shouldn't have posts like this, but here we are. I feel a need to post, but don't have much excitement going on right now. Yesterday I spent a half day at work, then went to Andrew's birthday party and then to a wedding of a girl that my mom used to tend. Let me tell you how old I feel when I see the video of this 22 year old girl's wedding and when it flashes back to the 2 year old, I think "hey that's the Jessica I remember." Besides the few moments of excitement yesterday, this week has been fairly uneventful. I worked some and slept a lot and was so tired today I laid down for a half hour (I even set the alarm) and woke up 3 1/2 hours later. I felt bad for about 30 seconds and then told myself it was okay and I needed to feel like the sleep was what I needed so don't feel bad about "wasting" a Sunday afternoon. Then I read a book and then went to work to count inventory and somewhere in the middle of it I realized I hadn't eaten today... at all. Not even a morsel. I'm not even that hungry. Weird! Well, I guess that's enough random rambling for one Sunday. Maybe this next week will bring some excitement!!

It is better for us to pass through sorrow

I just realized that sounds like a really depressing blog title! This post is not really about sorrow. It's more about awesome temple insights. Last night I decided to go to the temple. It was kind of a silly reason. I had opened my fast early so I could finish it right after church today and didn't want to be home all night surrounded by yummy food, so I figured I'd take advantage of the temple to get me away from the temptation of eating. I ended up at Salt Lake because Bountiful was closed for one more day, and as I walked downstairs, Tom was sitting at the information desk. I smiled and said hello, and walked on to the dressing room. It's the first time I've seen him since the email and it was fine... weird how things work out for themselves. Anyway, I have been reading the book Six Events by Stephen Covey and the sixth event is the restoration of temple blessings. He encourages us to go to the temple completely prepared for the experience and then outlines how that can be done. I copied it out of the book, printed it really small and took it with me so I could reflect on it. The best part of it says, "During the entire time you are in the temple, have the expectation that God will reveal to you the answers to your prayers. You don't know when, but you know that he will-- you just feel it." I went this time, thinking about the purpose of my fast. I listened to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in the car on the way and felt really good about my choice to be there. As we got into the session, I was really impressed by the sister playing the part of Eve. She was really happy and her countenance glowed as if she understood the full impact of the part she was playing. It was probably the first time I ever saw someone absorb the part. As the session progressed, there is a part where Eve tells Adam that "it is better to pass through sorrow, that we may know good from evil." As this sister said that line, she kind of choked up and I felt very strongly that she (Eve) knew exactly what she was giving up. She understood that it would not be an easy thing, and that her decision would force them to give up their blissful life in the presence of God, but she was willing to experience sorrow for the greater good. I also thought about that line. The point is that we pass through sorrow. We don't stay there. Today in Young Women's, the lesson was about agency and choices, and we were talking about how making good choices can lead us to happiness, but ultimately even happiness is a choice. I realized sitting in that sacred place, that I am happy. I may not have everything I want, and I may not be living the life I saw myself living 15 years ago, but as I pass through sorrow, I find happiness, and that makes the sorrow worth it. Not easy, not even really fully understood, but worth it. And for moments like that in the temple, I'm happy for the experiences I've had that have led me to that realization. Side note... I was sitting in the Celestial Room, thinking about the whole thing with Tom and as he walked out of the veil area, I realized there were no feelings. No more wondering what could have happened and no desire to go back. I felt peaceful and I am grateful.