Sunday, April 7, 2013

Life goes on

It surprised me when I logged onto my blog today and saw that my last post was in February.  Where did March go?  I often complain that August is so far away but here I am losing entire months without even noticing.  I'm sure the few of you who actually read my blog are thinking you're missing out on something amazing, but really life has mostly returned back to normal, with the exception of this extra person who is always around.  That sounded a bit like complaining.  Let me assure you it is not.  We have settled into dating life almost as if we were married.  Allen and I literally spend every waking moment outside of work together.  I was reading my friend Nicole's blog today in fact and realizing that it's been awhile since I did that too and then realized that life is swallowing me.  I talked to someone a few weeks ago about cherishing the days, but I've never done that well, even before Allen.  I used to complain that my life was like the movie Groundhog Day.  I wake up every day and do the same things, and the only things that changed it were the mini crises at work.  Now I'm back to that, except that now when I get off work I don't come home alone and I get taken out on dates.  That part is pretty great, but I realized the other day that I'm not entirely happy.  Here I am in what should be the most exciting time of my life and I'm not nearly as happy as I feel like I should be.  I think what really happened, was I let some of the important things in my life slip (prayer, scriptures etc.) when Allen and I started dating and that's really backwards.  I should be doing that stuff more not less.  It occurred to me the other day that I tend to have a one focus brain.  I get really excited about something and that's what consumes my mind.  I can't multitask in life.  I'm pro at multitasking at work, but focusing on 6 things in life at once sends me into a seizure!   Right now my brain is consumed with my lover boy and so work, blog, scriptures, and all the other things I used to be pretty good at have taken a back seat.  I need to get back on track.  I need to not be so consumed.  I need to recapture what I had and then add Allen into it, or I'm going to continue to be unhappy in the midst of my greatest happiness.  Today is a jumping off point for me.  I'm going to attempt to be better, to be stronger, to be happier!!  Wish me luck!!

1 comment:

Nicole said...

Wow, good for you! That's the kind of commitment that will keep your marriage happy because you're placing your priorities where they should be. Sending hugs to my wonderful friend!