Call for Help!

I don't know how other people feel about themselves, but I feel icky! You know that moment in your life when you decide that something needs to change, but you just lack the power to change it? What is that? When did I lose control of me? Today I am venting about waking up in the morning. I am a horrible waker. I have to be at work at 8. 7:30 would be better, but I have to be there at 8. I live about 2 minutes from work. My morning routine goes something like this: Cell phone alarm rings at 5:45. I turn it off. The second cell phone alarm (playing a different tune) at 5:50. I turn that one off too. The third cell phone alarm (playing a completely annoying tune) goes off at 6. This is the cell phone alarm that you can snooze, so I try to get my fingers to open the phone and turn it off, which is successful about 20% of the time. Usually I just hit the button on the side and I get the completely annoying tune again in 4 minutes. The alarm clock goes off at 6:01. I push snooze. The moral of the story is that my alarm (all four of them) end up as part of a really strange dream and I drag myself out of bed at 7:42, put my contacts in sleepy eyes, pee, put clothes on and drag myself off to work. I generally get there between 7:56 and 8:02 depending on the effectiveness of my body movement (8:02 if my fingers were asleep and I couldn't get my contacts in my eyes) and whether or not I can find my shoes. I don't eat breakfast. I barely comb my hair and I keep deodorant and a tooth brush at work. It takes me another 30 minutes to wake up at work which means that something that should take me less than 5 minutes to do actually takes 15. 15 minutes adds up quickly when you have 2 hours worth of work to fit into 2 hours. If I could do those 5 minutes tasks in 5 minutes I would save a lot of time. So here I sit, searching on the computer for tips to waking up in the morning... you know, when the alarm goes off. I've read some good ones. One guy suggested doing the morning routine in the middle of the day so you are training your conscious mind instead of your subconscious one. You recreate your morning (you know, darken the room, put your pajamas on) then you set your alarm for 3 minutes from now, get into bed and practice getting up when the alarm goes off. Then you reset the alarm for 3 minutes from then and do it again until you've trained your brain. Not a bad idea. Maybe? Another guy suggests having a reason for getting up. You know telling yourself that you are going to eat a great breakfast, exercise for 30 minutes, have "me" time. Also not a bad idea. Maybe? Anyone out there have any other tips, because my goal really is just to be awake before I hit work, maybe with something in my belly and some mascara on my eyelashes. Sometimes a shower would be a good idea (I have a really gross job, I usually shower at night), actually doing my hair. Morning prayer! That often gets pushed back because I don't "have time". I'm open to trying anything! How do I get the snooze bar out of my vocabulary! One person said write down why you are getting up and read it before you go to bed. I'm trying that one tonight. All you perky morning people: Help!!!