Sunday, October 2, 2016

Sleepless nights

Dear Anna Elizabeth,
This post is a result of some musings I had last night around 3.  You had been fed and burped and you were wide awake. I stood in the lamplight, rocking you, willing you to go back to sleep so that I could and it hit me how fleeting time really is. How many more nights will you wake to eat and just want to be snuggled by mama? Already at 6 weeks I feel you are growing way too fast. I already miss the tiny you that came home from the hospital. Already I'm dreading going back to work and not spending all day, every day with you. I realized as I rocked you back to sleep at 3 a.m. that you will grow quickly. I realized that it's already time to start teaching you the things you will need to survive this world. Yesterday we spent the day watching General Conference. I was called to repentance by many of the talks and realized I need to do better to make sure we start gospel teaching early so that you have the best chance of having the tools to make it through life and back to your Father in Heaven who held you not so long ago. Sometimes when I feed you in the bedroom, you stare at the picture of Jesus on the wall above the bed and I am convinced that you recognize Him. In my patriarchal blessing it states that I was close to my Father in Heaven and His son Jesus Christ. I'm convinced that you were too. I've decided we need to read scriptures and pray together regularly to get you in the habit early in life. Lizzie, I pray that you continue to be strong. To remember, at least a little, the love that you have for your Savior and the love He feels for you.  I also love you my little Anna. I'm so grateful that I get to be your mama. I pray that we will be close and that you will always remember who you are. Love, Mom

1 comment:

Nicole said...

You're already seeing that bittersweet joy of watching a baby grow! I can't believe how big my babies have gotten, and how quickly it goes by. I'm so glad you are cherishing the journey, sweetheart. I'm looking forward to seeing you again and meeting your little doll!