Dear Anna Elizabeth,
Today I am 41 weeks pregnant. Like I said last post, you are a stubborn little girl! Last night I didn't sleep well. I keep having contractions that don't do much. At my appointment yesterday I was only dilated to a 2. The doctor is going to induce tomorrow. This morning I got a call from the hospital telling me what to do before we get there. I have been looking forward to this for roughly 36 weeks, but to be totally honest I am scared. Keeping you healthy and safe inside of me was relatively easy. I didn't change my lifestyle very much at all.
You grew and developed just like you were supposed to, but now comes the fun part. The part where your dad and I become totally responsible for the person you become. The world is a frightening place. There is so much hate and evil and yet so much joy and happiness. I prayed last night that I would have the intuition to do what is best for you. I pray all the time that I can be the mom you need to navigate your way through it. I'm scared that you will grow up too fast, that I will forget to live in the moment, that you and I will not be close. I'm scared that in six short weeks I will have to go back to work and leave you to be raised by someone who isn't me. I'm worried about messing up and all of these worries and fears may be irrational, but they are real and I'm just trying to wrap my head around everything before you come out. I promise to love you forever. I promise to do my very best with you. I can't wait to see your face.
3 months ago