Dear Baby...

It's been a really long time since I've blogged.  I want to pretend that I might do it again soon, but it's been hit and miss for commitment lately... as in I'm scared to commit because I don't follow through.  I just pulled out my journal, where I made a new years resolution to write daily, in 2014. My last entry was January 3 of that year... I'm awesome!  Anyhow, most of my readers (all 3 of you) know that I'm pregnant.  We found out December 8.  When I was young and apparently less busy, I decided it would be fun to write letters to my baby while I was pregnant, so s/he would have some sort of personal history to start with.  I wrote on my phone December 8-10 and then nothing... see I told you I was awesome at commitment.  SO anyway here I am... attempting to do a better job of writing letters to Baby McDonald (or as Allen fondly calls it Pre-jit).  I thought if I blogged it I would do a better job of keeping it up.  We'll see...

Dear Baby,
I am nearly 18 weeks pregnant and we are just days away from the ultra sound to find out if you are Anna Elizabeth or Kaden Allen.  We have had names chosen for years and years.  If you are Anna Elizabeth, we will call you Lizzie.  Your name came from my best friend when I was 19 and 20. Anna was a lady I met because of Grandma and Dee's.  She was a regular who was 30 years older than me and had a goal to corrupt my mothers children.  It was because of Anna that I saw my first R rated movie at age 19... it was Pretty Woman.  Anna was a dear.  She loved me like the daughter she never had.  We went to dinner, took a road trip together to visit her mom in Idaho, and hung out scrapbooking and just chatting.  When I turned 21 Anna wanted to take me to Vegas to teach me how to gamble, but I'd received my mission call and we didn't have time for the trip before I had to report to the MTC.  She assured me we'd go when I got home.  We never made it.  Anna was killed 5 months into my mission.  Your name came from a conversation we had once.  I told her I loved the name Elizabeth and someday would name my first daughter that.  She told me I should name her Anna and I argued that I wanted her to be Lizzie.  She told me I could name her Anna Elizabeth and still call her Lizzie.  I agreed that was a beautiful name.  After she died, it became a memorial and I've been waiting 16 years to make it happen.  If you are Kaden Allen, you are also named for an outstanding person.  Your grandma Karen, Allen's mom died when your dad was just 16.  Allen wanted a name that would honor her name, and since Cherie used the name Kearen for a girl, we decided we'd use Kaden and make your name what we consider the boy equivalent of Karen.  I have always wanted a girl, because of the whole Anna thing, but I adore the name Kaden Allen, and so if you happen to be a boy I will love it.  I am struggling right now, trying to figure out what to do once you're born.  Our apartment is much too small for all of us, and I never wanted to have to work once I had a baby.  We can't move right away and me working is inevitable, so I will have faith and trust that God will take care of us.  The way I figure it, He sent you to us now and He'll provide.  I just need to believe it.  Well I think that's all for tonight.  I'll try to write again soon and let you know how things are going.  Love Mom