It is better for us to pass through sorrow

I just realized that sounds like a really depressing blog title! This post is not really about sorrow. It's more about awesome temple insights. Last night I decided to go to the temple. It was kind of a silly reason. I had opened my fast early so I could finish it right after church today and didn't want to be home all night surrounded by yummy food, so I figured I'd take advantage of the temple to get me away from the temptation of eating. I ended up at Salt Lake because Bountiful was closed for one more day, and as I walked downstairs, Tom was sitting at the information desk. I smiled and said hello, and walked on to the dressing room. It's the first time I've seen him since the email and it was fine... weird how things work out for themselves. Anyway, I have been reading the book Six Events by Stephen Covey and the sixth event is the restoration of temple blessings. He encourages us to go to the temple completely prepared for the experience and then outlines how that can be done. I copied it out of the book, printed it really small and took it with me so I could reflect on it. The best part of it says, "During the entire time you are in the temple, have the expectation that God will reveal to you the answers to your prayers. You don't know when, but you know that he will-- you just feel it." I went this time, thinking about the purpose of my fast. I listened to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in the car on the way and felt really good about my choice to be there. As we got into the session, I was really impressed by the sister playing the part of Eve. She was really happy and her countenance glowed as if she understood the full impact of the part she was playing. It was probably the first time I ever saw someone absorb the part. As the session progressed, there is a part where Eve tells Adam that "it is better to pass through sorrow, that we may know good from evil." As this sister said that line, she kind of choked up and I felt very strongly that she (Eve) knew exactly what she was giving up. She understood that it would not be an easy thing, and that her decision would force them to give up their blissful life in the presence of God, but she was willing to experience sorrow for the greater good. I also thought about that line. The point is that we pass through sorrow. We don't stay there. Today in Young Women's, the lesson was about agency and choices, and we were talking about how making good choices can lead us to happiness, but ultimately even happiness is a choice. I realized sitting in that sacred place, that I am happy. I may not have everything I want, and I may not be living the life I saw myself living 15 years ago, but as I pass through sorrow, I find happiness, and that makes the sorrow worth it. Not easy, not even really fully understood, but worth it. And for moments like that in the temple, I'm happy for the experiences I've had that have led me to that realization. Side note... I was sitting in the Celestial Room, thinking about the whole thing with Tom and as he walked out of the veil area, I realized there were no feelings. No more wondering what could have happened and no desire to go back. I felt peaceful and I am grateful.